The Gift that Keeps on Giving: My WWE 2014 Calendar

Last Christmas my brother-in-law got me an official WWE calendar. Other than giving a little wry smile, I didn’t think too much of it at the time. I duly hooked it on the wall and turned over to January where I was met with a rather airbrushed looking Alberto Del Rio complete with signature Chesire cat grin. Again, nothing too unusual there. I left it hanging in my attic, forgot about it and each month, when I remember, I nip up on my way to the tumble dryer to turn over the page to reveal the next month’s superstar.

But as the year progressed something rather curious and rather wonderful began to happen: the calendar seemed to sync up with WWE storylines, booking directions or title holders.

Now you may be thinking, well that’s all just coincidence – whoever is on your calendar is just pot luck, pure chance. Well, of course it is, but when you start to look at who is displayed on certain months, it sometimes becomes pretty eerie.

Del Rio grinned at the back of my desk chair for the next 31 days but by early August would no longer be with the company at all. His inclusion on an albeit fairly arbitrary piece of merchandise is somewhat interesting – put yourself in the WWE merchandising department’s position: you’re making a calendar (primarily for kids) and you only have 12 that can put on it, so you pick your biggest stars, your biggest merchandise shifters and your most unique characters, right?

So, let me get this out of the way right now – Daniel Bryan is not anywhere to be seen on the WWE 2014 calendar.

Think about that for a second. When they put this thing together, they felt that Daniel Bryan was not a big enough star, character, part of their future booking plans (?) to be a part of their wall calendar for 2014. It beggared belief when I opened the cellophane on Christmas morning. By WrestleMania 30 on April 6^th, it was even crazier. And yet by August 6^th, he’s practically and afterthought as he recovers from surgery and awaits another.

Maybe someone in the WWE merchandise division is a prophet. Maybe long term booking actually exists in WWE… maybe I think about these things too much.

But as January came to a close, top company star CM Punk did not appear on the January 27^th Raw after the Royal Rumble, nor did he appear for the SmackDown taping on the Tuesday despite being advertised for the event. By the Wednesday, WWE.com stopped advertising Punk for future events. Punk had told Vince he was “going home.” As reports came out that this was it and not some kind of work, I flipped over my calendar that weekend. Who should be on February? One CM Punk.

On the 28^th April episode of Raw, Sheamus won a 20-man battle royal to win the United States Championship for the second time, eliminating the previous champion Dean Ambrose last. Who was April? Sheamus. OK, less exciting, less impressive, but stay with me.

On the June 9^th episode of Raw, Daniel Bryan’s doctor stated Bryan was not clear to compete; therefore, Triple H (and Stephanie) stripped Bryan of the championship and made it the prize for the titular Money in the Bank ladder match. Meanwhile, after Seth Rollins turned on his Shield teammates at Money in the Bank, he was victorious and won the briefcase after Kane (under orders from Triple H) helped him. Triple H was June.

And at the end of June, just as Triple H was pulling the strings as CEO and leader of The Authority, one John Cena would win his 15^th world title, his first since April 2013. My calendar again surprised me with its knowing timing as a bulging, John Cena, looking like he’d been sneezed on by a Dulux colour chart, was staring back at me only a few days after his win. How suitable that the WWE Champion should be adorning children’s walls across the world for the start of the summer.

Then just last week, the August leaf of my WWE Calendar astounded me. Brock Lesnar was the superstar of choice. With a real likelihood that he will walk away with the title next weekend, it seemed spookily timely that he should appear on my wall for the month of August. And there he is, acting as a constant reminder of his breaking of the streak and a new era for the WWE World Heavyweight title.

So, if you’re curious to know what happens over the next few months in WWE, just consult your calendar - it holds all the information you need.