WWE Superstars TV Report – 26th December 2013

Happy holidays, everyone! This week’s WWE Superstars opens up, yet again, with Divas action but bucks the trend this week – the Divas match is actually pretty good: a veritable festive treat, I think you’ll agree. The Dolph Ziggler v Antonio Cesaro match in the second half is superb.

Natalya is out to kick off the show this week – a Diva who hasn’t really benefitted or been disadvantaged by her appearance on Total Divas. Oddly, throughout the show’s success it has been AJ Lee, a non-cast member, who has held the title. A title that she has now held for 196 days and, at time of press, is three weeks short of becoming the longest reigning Divas champion of all time; surpassing Maryse at 216 days. Natalya is a very strong in-ring performer but her opponent tonight on Superstars is not. At least not normally. I have to say Aksana looks really very good this week…

Natalya v Aksana

They lock up and Natalya immediately starts to work over Aksana's left leg with a variety of holds. She’s started to spank her opponents recently – I’m not honestly sure if this is new or whether she’s always done it and I’ve missed it because I’ve fast forwarded the Divas matches on Raw or ppv. Anyway, it’s odd. After a headlock, Natalya powers out and whips her into a shoulder barge and then tries a victory roll into a bridge but only gets a two count. Aksana then rolls outside and Natalya smashes her with a baseball slide. Aksana is getting her hair pulled and doesn’t like it and so throws Natalya into the dasher boards and rolls her back into the ring and gets a near fall.

Aksana lands elbows and goes for a cover – she actually looks good this week, using a more aggressive style than we usually see from her. She uses the bottom rope to choke Natalya and then works over the lower back with a series of holds and knees to the spine. She covers her with a knee to the stomach but Natalya kicks out at two. Old school style, Aksana uses the top rope to rake Natalya’s face and the poses for the crowd. You’d think she’d learn - she literally does this every single week.

Natalya schoolgirls her trying to steal the win but only gets a one count. Aksana immediately comes back with more intense offense, clotheslining her. She then uses a sloppy kind of half Boston crab, half patriot lock hold but Natalya flips over onto her back and kicks out of it. Natalya now gets the heat and they go back and forth, and Aksana uses a really cool move where she elbow drops the back of Natalya's head into the mat. It’s good heel stuff from Aksana this week. Natalya blocks a kick to the face and somehow twists and turns and reverses it out of nowhere into the Sharpshooter for the win.

Quite the surprise. Natalya looked good here but Aksana looked just as good – a new tough, uncompromising, combative side to her might be just what the doctor ordered for this Diva.

Winner: Natalya via submission (5:05)

The Raw Rebound is next – Daniel Bryan & The Rhodes v The Wyatts is shown in full followed by Santa v Santa with Christmas at stake. We also get a great Batista promo video: the tagline that they’re going for with his return is ‘The Animal hunts again’.

Dolph Ziggler comes out next on Superstars – he’s without a programme right now and is easily one the most ill-used superstars on the roster of 2013. Out to face him is Cesaro with Swagger and Colter by his side. No promo from Colter must mean that this one is going 9+ minutes which is good news – these two ought to have a fantastic match.

Dolph Ziggler v Antonio Cesaro (w/ Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger)

Alex Riley puts over Ziggler as the ‘hardest working man in show business […] clocking up 18 hour days’ in reference to his stand-up comedy work alongside is faltering WWE career. I don’t imagine for a second that Dolph is very funny but I do know he’s an excellent wrestler and its utter nonsense that he’s jobbing on Superstars every other week now.

They lock up and early on Cesaro uses a series of headlocks until Ziggler powers out, runs the ropes and halts. He does the ‘Ziggle Wiggle’ and is about to do the JJ/Flair strut but a charging Cesaro means that he has to use a low bridge to send Cesaro to the outside.

Outside, Cesaro shouts and points at Ziggler, “what the hell is he doing? Stop strutting!” So funny. He rolls back in and the two go back and forth with wrist locks until Cesaro throws Ziggler through the ropes. Ziggler lands on his feet and goes into another full strut, showing off. An infuriated Cesaro comes out and rolls him back in but, in the ring, Ziggler struts yet again. Cesaro is baffled and rolls back in to fight him.

Ziggler hits the most perfect drop kick and then lands the ten elbow drops that nearly killed Jerry Lawler and the crowd love it. Ziggler gets a two count and then Swagger uses a distraction on the outside, allowing Cesaro to punch Ziggler right in the face while the referee is distracted. Cesaro emulates the ‘Ziggle Wiggle’ and plants his hand on his chest and the crowd join in his chant of ‘we the people’ as we head to the break. This match is already a lot of fun.
 
After the ads, Cesaro is throwing Ziggler around like a rag doll - Dolph is probably sub-200lbs but this man is STRONG. Cesaro puts Dolph into a rear chin lock and Ziggler’s able to use it to hit a jawbreaker to get him a much-needed breather. He climbs to the second rope but Cesaro catches him and smoothly transitions to a backbreaker. Cesaro then uses his double stomp and gets two consecutive near falls.

Cesaro maintains the offence with a number of knees to Dolph’s midsection and he then effortlessly hits a gutwrench suplex, getting another two count. This match starts to really build now and the crowd are into it. This, it has to be said, is pretty rare on Superstars: you’d think that hot crowds would be excited pre-Raw but it’s not always the case and it’s really only when you get the upper mid-carders doing a shift on this show that the crowd respond. Out of a rest hold, Ziggler powers out and starts to run wild with punches and a flying forearm.

Ziggler hits a Stinger Splash into the corner and then lingers for ten punches to Cesaro. He climbs down and hits him with a neckbreaker, covers him but only gets two. When Cesaro gets to his feet, Ziggler hits the Fameasser out of nowhere and gets another nearfall. Crowd love it. Cesaro charges at Ziggler who leaps up and catches him with a DDT. Cesaro kicks out at two. Cesaro blocks the Zig Zag by holding the ropes and the match again turns in favour of Cesaro.

Swagger tries to interfere but Ziggler runs and sees off Swagger, which lets Cesaro respond with a European uppercut to the back of Ziggler’s head. Cesaro puts Ziggler into the Giant Swing, giving him 17 reps. A dizzy Ziggler is then put into the Neutralizer and is pinned by Cesaro for the win in what was a very, very strong match by WWE Superstars standards. If this had been on Raw it would have been one of the strongest matches by far, certainly the strongest singles match.

Winner:  Antonio Cesaro via pinfall (9:30)

The show finishes with the last 10 minutes of the Cena, Punk & Langston v The Shield match. Seconds good show for WWE Superstars in as many weeks. I’ll say it again, this show has turned a corner of late. I could watch Ziggler v Cesaro every week, with pleasure.

WWE Superstars TV Report – 19th December 2013

Happy holidays, everyone! This week’s WWE Superstars returned to its normal taping slot before Raw on Monday day night and saw two debuts: Summer Rae, as an in-ring competitor (she has appeared on the show with Fandango before), and Xavier Woods who, with R-truth, had the joy of taking on 3MB, appearing for their third straight week on this show.

Summer Rae comes out to start the show, dancing at the top of the ramp and then strutting to the ring. If you haven’t seen her on NXT, she does a very cool thing when she gets to the ring where she sits on the top rope and poses, sliding her hand seductively up her leg. It’s a very striking, original image. She has so much more presence and charisma than Kaitlyn, who comes out next.

Kaitlyn v Summer Rae

The bell rings and Rae immediately starts to dance a la Fandango. This angers Kaitlyn who charges at her forcing Rae to take solace in the ropes. The ref breaks them up and Summer hilariously shouts, “I haven’t stretched yet!” and then goes through some hamstring stretches in the corner. She’s a good heel. Rae dances some more, so Kaitlyn starts to attack with clotheslines and then whips her into the corner and lands a high knee into a throw.

Summer Rae rolls out of the ring after the beat-down shouting, “are you kidding me? I don’t need this!” She’s awesome. She starts to walk off up the ramp; Kaitlyn follows but eats a roundhouse kick from Summer’s long right leg. Rae rolls Kaitlyn back in and gets a near fall. She uses the middle ropes to choke out Kaitlyn and then shoves her head back into the ring with a little flick of her ass.

Kaitlyn then goes for a quick steal but only gets a two count. Rae gets up and kicks Kaitlyn in the face and then plants her head into the mat and gets a near fall of her own. Summer continues to use her long legs to kick and choke Kaitlyn and then settles into a Camel Clutch shouting, “they don’t love you, Kaitlyn.” No, they really don’t. Kaitlyn powers out and rams Rae into a turnbuckle and then uses a backbreaker to buy herself some time.

Kaitlyn hits Rae with clothesline and then a really sloppy shoulder tackle (clearly Summer Rae had no idea that this was coming). When Summer recovers from it, she takes a gutbuster and cover for a two count.

For the finish, Kaitlyn teases the spear, misses and is thrown into a turnbuckle. Summer Rae rolls her up quickly and steals a win. And what a win. This was so very much more entertaining than the turgid Aksana matches that Kaitlyn has had for the last few weeks. Summer Rae is still green but clearly gets what this is all about and has the timing and the athletic ability to pull of some interesting offence. An enjoyable opener.

Winner:  Summer Rae via pinfall (4:53)

The Raw Rebound is next – we’re shown highlights from the opening of Raw with Steph’s promo followed by Cena’s interruption and then Orton and Bryan facing off. After the break we get the end of the Punk & Usos v The Shield match.

Out next on Superstars are R-Truth and Xavier Woods. I suppose Woods’ presence gives R-Truth a raison d’etre for a few weeks after he had largely been akin to Zack Ryder for the last year or so. Remember when he was in the title picture in 2011? Crazy. Woods, though, has potential and, let’s be honest, Truth is an old hand at this now - at 41 (42 in January) he’s surely going to be hanging up his boots soon. 3MB (still without Heath) are their opponents. I really hate that Jinder Mahal is on this show every week – he’s a poor professional wrestler.

R-Truth & Xavier Woods v 3MB (Drew McIntyre & Jinder Mahal)

Woods and Mahal lock up and Wood drives Mahal to the mat. On commentary, Alex Riley says that if you look up Xavier Woods online you’ll see a picture of Eddie Murphy. Yeah, he really said that. I’d say that’s casual racism at its laziest right there. Mahal and Woods chain wrestle until Mahal eats a nicely-timed drop kick from Woods which he turns into a pin for one.

Mahal gets up and drives Woods into the turnbuckles as McIntyre blind tags in. They work over Woods in the corner until McIntyre eats a chop and Woods is able to tag in Truth. Truth also chops McIntyre and the wiggles his hips at Drew, throws him over the top rope and both Truth and Woods dive over the top rope to take out 3MB as we go to a break.

After the commercials, Truth is schooling McIntyre in armbars and wrist locks until Drew powers out and out of whip tags in Mahal who comes in to redress the balance and take the offence to Truth. Mahal and McIntyre use multiple, quick tags to work over Truth who attempts to power his way out but to no avail. Out of whip McIntyre hits a drop kick and gets a two count and so goes to a rear chin lock rest hold. Again, Truth tries to power out but Mahal tags back in and they punch, kick and bully Truth. Another rest hold from Mahal as Woods is vociferous on the apron, desperate for a tag.

Despite several reprimands from the ref, Drew heels on Truth in his corner with illegal punches. After Drew takes too long to hit a move and postures to the crowd, Truth manages to finally make the hot tag for Woods. McIntyre also tags in.

The finish sees Woods running wild and after taking out Mahal with a series of clotheslines and a drop kick, he uses the Honour Roll on Mahal, chases off Drew with a roundhouse kick and then hits a Lost in the Woods that barely grazes Mahal for the pin and win.

Woods is good but then any competent wrestler who is given this kind of treatment will shine. The match was built around him and was designed for Truth to soak up the pressure so that Mahal and McIntyre could bump all over for Woods. Like last week, once again the tag match steals the show.

Winners: R-Truth and Xavier Woods via pinfall (6:46)

The show finishes with the last 10 minutes of the Randy Orton v Daniel Bryan match from Raw on Monday.

Superstars has turned a corner of late - all of these new tag teams that are coming out under Hunter’s reign are helping the quality of the B-shows and long may it continue.

WWE Superstars TV Report – 12th December 2013

This week’s show was filmed in Portland, Oregon at the SmackDown! tapings rather than before Raw. A shame because that Seattle crowd were great. The show kicks off with a crowd-sweetened reaction for Kaitlyn who, for the second week running, is up against Aksana. Aksana is now sporting a new pink and black velvet-esque cat suit. They’re trying with her but there’s just so little point and one thing we don’t need to see again is this match.

Kaitlyn v Aksana

They lock up and and Aksana beats Kaitlyn with a forearm to the back. They lock up again and this time Kaitlyn takes her down to the mat. She repeats this twice more and then, bizarrely, spanks her ass. Yup, seriously, she smacked her on the ass and then grinned about it.

The embarrassed Aksana gets in some offense after a drop toe hold and a splash to the corner by Kaitlyn who gets a near fall. Aksana blocks two charges to the corner and whips her head back so that she hits the mat hard. She lands her with forearms to the head and then kicks but Kaitlyn escapes a powerslam and gets a backbreaker. Out of an Irish whip Kaitlyn goes for a spear, but Aksana dodges so Kaitlyn follows with a shoulder tackle and a double leg take town getting a two count.

Kaitlyn plants Aksana into the corner but Aksana again dodges the spear and so Kaitlyn hits the corner hard and then turns around to eat a spinebuster. Aksana covers and Kaitlyn needs to put a foot on the ropes at two to survive. Aksana gets frustrated and lands her with elbows and, just like last week, she tries to put her feet on the ropes to help the cover, but the ref sees it. Aksana has no finesse, all her moves look languid and she looks tired quickly.

Aksana goes for a rest hold and then hits a side slam and does her new thing, the cat crawl. She kicks Kaitlyn and few times and then goes for another cover. You can tell that she doesn’t really know where to go next and so the match is really slow when she’s calling it. Her move-set is really quite limited. So, Aksana heels at the crowd, letting Kaitlyn get up and schoolgirl Aksana for a near fall. They both get up and Aksana realises she’s out of position so Kaitlyn runs at her, ducks under her so that when Aksana turns around she eats a spear and is pinned by Kaitlyn for the win.

A fairly dull match. These two don’t click but putting Aksana in charge of dictating the pace means that you’re always going to get a pedestrian affair.

Winner:  Kaitlyn via pinfall (5:03)

The Raw Rebound is next – we Daniel Bryan v Fandango and Bryan’s Slammy award acceptance speech followed by the back end of the Punk v Dean Ambrose match and Punk’s Slammy acceptance speech.

Out next on Superstars are “oles!” for Los Matadores’ entrance. These guys are great in the ring but with this kind of gimmick I don’t see how they can ever really be in a meaningful feud with anyone. They’ll be good bets to kick off live shows like this or potentially to open ppvs on the pre-show.

Los Matadores (with El Torito) v Drew McIntyre & Jinder Mahal

Mahal and the Fernando lock up and Fernando takes some early offence from Jinder until he uses a tilt-a-whirl headscissors and then a monkey flip out of the corner to redress the balance. Diego tags in and puts together a double backdrop with Fernando and then continues with some entertaining offense including a handstand off the top rope into a headscissors takedown. He even stops a charging Mahal with an outreached hand, claps his hands together and shouts ‘ole!’ Mahal is bemused, goes to charge him again but is sent flying over the top rope. McIntyre wants to join into a brawl outside the ring but Fernando takes him out as we head to break.

As we return, McIntyre interferes to let 3MB take over on Diego. He goes to work on his back outside the ring, using the apron and the dasher boards: these matches seem to take this pattern now - Drew is made to wait and wait for the hot tag and then when he gets in, he shows why they pushed him so hard when he debuted as the ‘chosen one’ and had an IC title run. He is better than Superstars comedy matches. Diego gets beaten down by Drew, taking a near fall, until Jinder tags and gets a near fall of his own and then we go to a rest hold.

Diego can’t get to make the tag. Drew blind tags back in and dominates Deigo with clotheslines and a spinebuster. Mahal comes back in and they hit a dual Russian leg sweep for another near fall. Jinder than chokes him out on the ropes and lands kness to the back of his head. Mahal’s offence is suitable for his heel character but is really limited.

Drew comes back and they use a series of quick tags and double-team moves to continue to dominate Deigo. Mahal applies an abdominal stretch and Diego manages to escape and finally ducks out of a splash into the corner and hits a desperate enziguri to Mahal to tag in Fernando. Mahal tags in McIntyre. Fernando uses the hot tag to outpace and out-think Drew. He uses clotheslines, reverse elbows and a spinning neckbreaker to get a near fall but then eats a dropkick that halts his momentum. McIntyre gets a near fall. Chaos ensues when Mahal breaks up a pin and gets thrown back outside

The finish sees McIntyre then take a tilt-a-whirl DDT and the double Samoan Drop for the win for Los Matadores.

After the match El Torito draws Drew into the ring so that the faces can further humiliate 3MB.

Winners: Los Matadores via pinfall (8:24)

The show finishes with a video package hyping how important, monumental and historic the title unification match will be at TLC between Cena and Orton with video packages of their title wins through history and then a wrap-up video of the final angle from Raw.

The tag match saved the show this week in what was all about building up Sunday’s ppv and pushing the idea that we’ll be getting one title and one champion at TLC.

WWE Superstars TV Report – 5th December 2013

This week’s show was as mediocre as its counterparts, Raw and Smackdown, have been of late. The list of personnel proves this without you even needing to watch it: Kaitlyn, Aksana, 3MB (without Heath) and The Usos. Surely there is some NXT talent that would benefit from getting some ring action in front a big crowd on this pre-Raw taping?

Kaitlyn comes out first to kick off the show. I always think she lacks any real charisma but also doesn’t look hugely fussed: she half-asses it down the ramp and makes some kind of hand signal with both hands and half-smiles and that’s it; that’s her gimmick. Anyway, she got engaged this past week to a body-builder, P.J. Braun, a high-level competition bodybuilder and supplement entrepreneur who runs Blackstone Labs and Prime Nutrition, and so she’s on TV. Aksana is her opponent tonight – a Diva who has literally gone backwards or at least stayed vaguely the same in terms of her in-ring performance since she arrived in WWE in 2009.

Kaitlyn v Aksana

They lock up and Tom Phillips acknowledges the engagement: apparently ‘hearts are breaking across the world’ – am I the only that doesn’t see it? Kaitlyn charges at Aksana who screams and takes solace in the ropes so that the referee keeps Kaitlyn away. Kaitlyn scoop slams Aksana, whips her into a turnbuckle, hits her with a backbreaker and then shoulder barges her to the mat forcing Aksana to roll outside for a breather.

Outside, Aksana takes out Kaitlyn’s leg so that she falls on to the apron and lands on her back and head. Aksana seizes the opportunity and quickly rolls her back into the ring and covers her for a two count. She then grabs her hair and, screaming, whacks her head into the mat repeatedly. Boy can she scream. Still wailing, Aksana rubs her forearm into Kaitlyn’s face. As she poses to the crowd, she grabs Kaitlyn and chokes her on the middle rope and then applies a wrist lock by way of a rest.

Kaitlyn recovers from the hold and Aksana goes to heel on some fans forgetting about Kaitlyn. She gets school-girled for a two count and then eats an elbow to the face for her efforts. More posing from Aksana who then goes to the ropes and knees Kaitlyn to the back of the head, grabbing her and throwing her into the corner.

Kaitlyn takes a side slam and a cover for two and then takes elbows and kicks to the chest. When Aksana then misses a charge to the corner, Kaitlyn gets the heat: hitting elbows, clotheslines and a gutbuster. When she goes for the pin, Aksana kicks out and the tries a cover of her own as she attempts to use the ropes. She makes a horrible job of it, though, and Kaitlyn kicks out at one. While Aksana needlessly (and inexplicably) complains to the referee, she turns her back on Kaitlyn who then spears her out of her boots and covers her for the win.

A nothing match between two Divas without a main-roster programme.

Winner:  Kaitlyn via pinfall (4:10)

The Raw Rebound is next – we get the entire opening segment of the show from Punk’s excellent promo to Steph and Kane’s interruption. Then we’re shown the last half of the 6-man tag match between the Rhodes’ brothers & Big Show and The Shield. Good job Big Show is no longer concussed or that match would have been tough on him…

Out next on Superstars are The Usos who have been given some nice spots of late and have benefitted from more TV and ppv exposure. They generally get over well with live crowds and especially do well in this pre-Raw slot where crowds are getting revved up for the show. Their performance of the Siva Tau is made more impactful by their face paint of late. Oh and they now have merchandise – well, a t-shirt – which they flaunt at the fans and the cameras as they makey their way to the ring. Their opponents tonight are Superstars perennials, Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal. Even in the age of the 6-man tag matches on Raw, these guys (especially Jinder) aren’t good enough to get on the show.

The Usos  v Drew McIntyre & Jinder Mahal

There’s no Heath Slater tonight and he’s either just unwell, absent or legit-injured because Phillips and Riley talk about how he’s having ‘throat surgery’ because he’s the lead singer of the band and he over did it when rehearsing. Either this is a rib on him or a joke about him being injured or just nonsense. Who knows – probably the latter.

Jey and Jinder lock up and out of an Irish whip, Mahal shoulder barges Jey to the mat. Out of a chain Mahal then eats a drop kick to the chin and when Jey then rings the wrist, he tags in Jimmy. They do stereo reverse elbows and elbow drops on Jinder and then Jimmy covers him but Mahal kicks out at two.

Jimmy hits Jinder with reverse knife edges, rings the wrist but takes knees to the midsection as Jinder powers out. Out of a corner-to-corner whip, Jimmy the chops Mahal to the mat and shouts “Uoos!” to which the crowd reply “O!” Jimmy slaps Mahal, whips him into the corner, tags in Jey who launches himself at him and hits him with a stiff elbow to the face. Out of another quick tag, Jey lands a double axe handle on Jinder and he then sends him to the apron outside, over the top rope. Drew tries to go into business for himself but gets sent flying over the opposite side of the ring. The Usos get the crowd to clap and hit duelling planchas on the two as we go to a break.

After the commercials, Jinder is beating down Jimmy in the corner with punches and forearms. As the referee interferes, Jimmy is able to get back at Mahal who puts him in a headlock and runs the ropes with him. As he does so, Drew finally tags himself in. He immediately, ruthlessly goes after Jimmy’s left knee and stomps on it from behind sending Jimmy on to the mat in agony. Drew is an excellent heel.

Drew works over the knee, planting him upside down in the corner, stomping on his knee and then to his chest and face. He tags in Mahal and he continues in the same vain. Drew quickly tags back in and places the leg onto the bottom rope and stomps and sits on it. Meanwhile, on commentary they discuss their favourite moments from The Slammys of the past because they’re so entertained by what they see here.

As Jimmy tries to crawl across the ring for the tag, Drew picks him up and slaps him, holding his left leg out in front of him so that he has to hop on his right leg. Jimmy finally slaps him in the face back and so Drew goes back to Mahal for a tag and Jinder immediately storms in the ring to cut off Jimmy from getting to make the hot tag. Jinder applies a leg lock and Jimmy uses kicks to the back of the head to escape it until Jinder launches off the ropes and kicks him in the face. McIntyre comes back in and they continue to go after the left knee.

Out of the corner, Drew swings and misses a punch to Jimmy, who ducks and tries an O’Connor roll for the win but only gets a two count. Immediately an angry McIntrye gets up and drop kicks the left knee and goes for a pin himself, also getting two. He tags in Jinder and they work the left knee outside using the apron to smack the knee against the ring.

Finally, Jimmy is able to make the tag when Jinder goes to the second rope, misses the knee and instead winds up getting hit with an enziguri to the back of the head. Both men are down for the referee’s count until Jimmy finally gets the tag. Mahal tags in McIntyre at the same time but Jey gets all the heat with two flying clortheslines followed by the savate kick and a Goldust-esque slap to the face from the mat.

The finish starts with Jey hitting Drew with a really sloppy Samoan drop; he then hits the stinkface equivalent. When Jinder interrupts the pin, Jimmy chases Jinder off and it leaves Jey to hit a superkick to Drew (who sells it beautifully – he falls like the tallest oak in the forest) so that Jimmy can Superfly Splash him and cover him for the win.

The Usos rarely have poor matches but they always follow the same formula. Formulaic is no fun when you’ve seen it for the last 6 months on this show but they’re a good tag team and deserve the TV time they’ve been getting.

Winners: The Usos via pinfall (8:33)

The show finishes with a video package hyping how important, monumental and historic the title unification match (aka the dig-ourselves-out-of-a-ppv rut match) will be at TLC between Cena and Orton.

This was a nothing edition of Superstars that mirrored the quality of the TV output that we’ve been getting for the last month or so. I don’t see it improving much until the New Year.