WWE Superstars TV Report – 12th December 2013

This week’s show was filmed in Portland, Oregon at the SmackDown! tapings rather than before Raw. A shame because that Seattle crowd were great. The show kicks off with a crowd-sweetened reaction for Kaitlyn who, for the second week running, is up against Aksana. Aksana is now sporting a new pink and black velvet-esque cat suit. They’re trying with her but there’s just so little point and one thing we don’t need to see again is this match.

Kaitlyn v Aksana

They lock up and and Aksana beats Kaitlyn with a forearm to the back. They lock up again and this time Kaitlyn takes her down to the mat. She repeats this twice more and then, bizarrely, spanks her ass. Yup, seriously, she smacked her on the ass and then grinned about it.

The embarrassed Aksana gets in some offense after a drop toe hold and a splash to the corner by Kaitlyn who gets a near fall. Aksana blocks two charges to the corner and whips her head back so that she hits the mat hard. She lands her with forearms to the head and then kicks but Kaitlyn escapes a powerslam and gets a backbreaker. Out of an Irish whip Kaitlyn goes for a spear, but Aksana dodges so Kaitlyn follows with a shoulder tackle and a double leg take town getting a two count.

Kaitlyn plants Aksana into the corner but Aksana again dodges the spear and so Kaitlyn hits the corner hard and then turns around to eat a spinebuster. Aksana covers and Kaitlyn needs to put a foot on the ropes at two to survive. Aksana gets frustrated and lands her with elbows and, just like last week, she tries to put her feet on the ropes to help the cover, but the ref sees it. Aksana has no finesse, all her moves look languid and she looks tired quickly.

Aksana goes for a rest hold and then hits a side slam and does her new thing, the cat crawl. She kicks Kaitlyn and few times and then goes for another cover. You can tell that she doesn’t really know where to go next and so the match is really slow when she’s calling it. Her move-set is really quite limited. So, Aksana heels at the crowd, letting Kaitlyn get up and schoolgirl Aksana for a near fall. They both get up and Aksana realises she’s out of position so Kaitlyn runs at her, ducks under her so that when Aksana turns around she eats a spear and is pinned by Kaitlyn for the win.

A fairly dull match. These two don’t click but putting Aksana in charge of dictating the pace means that you’re always going to get a pedestrian affair.

Winner:  Kaitlyn via pinfall (5:03)

The Raw Rebound is next – we Daniel Bryan v Fandango and Bryan’s Slammy award acceptance speech followed by the back end of the Punk v Dean Ambrose match and Punk’s Slammy acceptance speech.

Out next on Superstars are “oles!” for Los Matadores’ entrance. These guys are great in the ring but with this kind of gimmick I don’t see how they can ever really be in a meaningful feud with anyone. They’ll be good bets to kick off live shows like this or potentially to open ppvs on the pre-show.

Los Matadores (with El Torito) v Drew McIntyre & Jinder Mahal

Mahal and the Fernando lock up and Fernando takes some early offence from Jinder until he uses a tilt-a-whirl headscissors and then a monkey flip out of the corner to redress the balance. Diego tags in and puts together a double backdrop with Fernando and then continues with some entertaining offense including a handstand off the top rope into a headscissors takedown. He even stops a charging Mahal with an outreached hand, claps his hands together and shouts ‘ole!’ Mahal is bemused, goes to charge him again but is sent flying over the top rope. McIntyre wants to join into a brawl outside the ring but Fernando takes him out as we head to break.

As we return, McIntyre interferes to let 3MB take over on Diego. He goes to work on his back outside the ring, using the apron and the dasher boards: these matches seem to take this pattern now - Drew is made to wait and wait for the hot tag and then when he gets in, he shows why they pushed him so hard when he debuted as the ‘chosen one’ and had an IC title run. He is better than Superstars comedy matches. Diego gets beaten down by Drew, taking a near fall, until Jinder tags and gets a near fall of his own and then we go to a rest hold.

Diego can’t get to make the tag. Drew blind tags back in and dominates Deigo with clotheslines and a spinebuster. Mahal comes back in and they hit a dual Russian leg sweep for another near fall. Jinder than chokes him out on the ropes and lands kness to the back of his head. Mahal’s offence is suitable for his heel character but is really limited.

Drew comes back and they use a series of quick tags and double-team moves to continue to dominate Deigo. Mahal applies an abdominal stretch and Diego manages to escape and finally ducks out of a splash into the corner and hits a desperate enziguri to Mahal to tag in Fernando. Mahal tags in McIntyre. Fernando uses the hot tag to outpace and out-think Drew. He uses clotheslines, reverse elbows and a spinning neckbreaker to get a near fall but then eats a dropkick that halts his momentum. McIntyre gets a near fall. Chaos ensues when Mahal breaks up a pin and gets thrown back outside

The finish sees McIntyre then take a tilt-a-whirl DDT and the double Samoan Drop for the win for Los Matadores.

After the match El Torito draws Drew into the ring so that the faces can further humiliate 3MB.

Winners: Los Matadores via pinfall (8:24)

The show finishes with a video package hyping how important, monumental and historic the title unification match will be at TLC between Cena and Orton with video packages of their title wins through history and then a wrap-up video of the final angle from Raw.

The tag match saved the show this week in what was all about building up Sunday’s ppv and pushing the idea that we’ll be getting one title and one champion at TLC.