Fandango and Summer Rae kick off the show for the
second consecutive week with their entrance. Again, tiny pockets of yokels are
found in the nose-bleeds half-heartedly doing the dance for our viewing pleasure.
Tom Philips and Alex Riley wish us a happy Thanksgiving and Riley produces a
frozen turkey from under the announce table. I have no idea why – it wasn’t
funny – he came off like a weirdo. He’s cut off by Zack Ryder’s music who makes
his way to the ring to zero reaction to face Fandango.
Zack
Ryder v Fandango (with Summer Rae)
At
the bell, in typical Superstars fashion, both men pause to show off to the
crowd: Fandango wiggles his hips and Ryder fists pumps and shouts ‘woo, woo,
woo!’ They lock
up and Fandango backs Ryder into the corner and hits him with a shoulder to the
midsection and a few strikes to the head. He Irish whips him and Ryder
reverses, hitting him with a flapjack followed
by a nicely placed drop kick. He then climbs the ropes, trapping his opponent, and
punches him in the corner but Fandango, in a clever move, ducks under his legs
and yanks Ryder to the mat.
Fandango kicks
and stomps Ryder who gets to his feet only to eat a spinning heel kick. He goes
for a cover but Ryder kicks out at two for the first near fall of this short
match. Fandango is in great shape but is looking a little heavier around the
waist this week.
Philips asks
Riley who should be the one champion of the WWE (remember this is recorded
before Raw, so Philips must have known that it was a unification match, even if
it wasn’t clear on Raw) and Riley says that Orton should be “because he’s been
the face of the company for the last six months and has the backing of the
authority”. Huh. What a terrible opinion.
Fandango
continues to dominate with chops to Ryder followed by a hard Irish whip into
the corner. Fandango then catches him with a reverse chin lock – yes, the WWE Superstars
go-to move. Ryder tries to power his way out with punches and, out of a whip, sends
Fandango face-first into the mat. He climbs the second rope and brings up his
knees to block the charge of Fandango. Then he hits him with a missile drop
kick from the middle rope and waits in the corner, poised to hit the Broski
Boot.
The finish
sees Ryder set up for the Rough Ryder (which he normally misses first time) and
hits it, covers Fandango and gets the three count. So, Fandango is now jobbing
to Zack Ryder on Superstars! This was a
very short match even by Superstars standards.
Winner:
Zack Ryder via pinfall (2:35)
The Raw Rebound is next – and the last thing we need
on this of all weeks is another opportunity to watch segments from a god-awful
Raw! However, all the comedy segments are ignored and we’re shown the making of
the unification match with Orton, Cena and The Authority followed by the handicap
match between Punk & Bryan and The Wyatts.
Out next on Superstars are The Usos who have been
given some nice spots of late and have benefitted from more TV/ppv exposure.
They generally get over well with live crowds and especially do well in this
pre-Raw slot where crowds are getting revved up for the show. Their opponents
tonight are The Real Americans. No time for a promo from Zeb this week – there must
be so much great stuff to show us from Raw this week…
The
Real Americans (with Zeb Colter) v The Usos
Cesaro and
Jimmy start things off and Jimmy uses a side headlock and shoulder tackle out
of the Irish whip. He goes for the cover and gets a one count. An angry Cesaro
gets to his feet and kicks Jimmy in the stomach and smacks with a forearm to
the back of the head and then applies a side headlock of his own. Out of the
whip, Cesaro tries to copy Jimmy’s shoulder tackle and does so, stopping to
place his hand on his heart and say ‘we the people’ but Jimmy then plants him with
an uppercut.
I like how
The Usos are improving. The rarely work poor tag matches these days. Cesaro
should turn babyface – people chant along with him when he says ‘we the people’
because they like him, they don’t when Swagger does it.
Jey tags in
and he climbs up to the top rope for a double axe handle to Jey’s left arm. Jey
follows with a snap mare and, running the ropes, uses a neat sliding
clothesline on Cesaro. He goes for a cover but only gets a near fall. Jey rings
the arm and Jimmy tags back in. He repeats the same process, going to the top
rope for a double axe handle to Cesaro’s left arm. He rings the arm again but
this time Cesaro hits him with a knee to the midsection and a European
uppercut. Jimmy comes back with a punch and chop followed by a side headlock as
the crowd start to chant “Uoos – O!” Cesaro breaks out of the headlock, Irish
whips Jimmy and catches him with a tilt-a-whirl back breaker.
Swagger finally tags in.
Swagger
immediately catches Jimmy with a belly-to-belly slam. He picks up Jimmy by the
hair and sends him through the ropes to the floor and tags in Cesaro.
On
commentary, Phillips is listing Swagger’s decorated past, naming the ECW
championship. It occurred to me that many youngsters watching this on a
Saturday morning will have no clue what that was or means. As we go to the break,
Cesaro charges Jimmy with a three-point stance clothesline.
After the
commercials, Swagger is in the ring and has a hold of Jimmy, punching him to
mat. He gets to his feet and Jimmy punches and chops Swagger but Swagger runs
Jimmy into the corner. Cesaro heels as the referee is dealing with Swagger’s
over-aggression and chokes Jimmy using the top rope. Swagger then hits him with
a double jump Swagger Bomb and Cesaro tags in and follows it with a leap frog
double stomp for a near fall.
Cesaro then
applies a reverse chin lock and Jimmy escapes
but Cesaro catches him as he tries to leap for the tag. Swagger is tagged in
and Cesaro catapults Jimmy to Swagger for a power
slam and a near fall. Swagger now applies a front face lock on Jimmy who tries
to get to his corner but Swagger pulls him into the centre of the ring. His
attempt to escape is now to use a sunset flip, which he gets a near fall with,
but Swagger lands him with a knee to the midsection.
Cesaro tags
in and hits a leg drop for another near fall as the match gathers pace and
Jimmy continues to play the babyface in peril. Swagger comes in and they hit a
double back elbow and Swagger goes for the cover, getting a near fall. Swagger then
uses an arm bar, Cesaro tags in but Jimmy gets him with a kick to the shoulder
and he avoids the charging Swagger by pulling down the ropes so that he goes to
the floor outside the ring. To make things even more convenient, Jimmy is able
to dodge Cesaro who misses a Stinger splash to the corner.
Jimmy crawls
across the ring to try to make the tag but Swagger tags in and he tries to
knock Jey off the apron but Jey moves and Swagger hits the turnbuckles. Finally,
Jey tags in and he hits a clothesline on Swagger, running over to knock Cesaro off
the apron, hitting another clothesline on Swagger as he turns around. He then
uses the savate kick and an uppercut (reminiscent of Goldust) followed by a
Samoan drop out of the Irish whip.
Most Uso
matches finish like this and we’re not disappointed: Jey dives over the top
rope and hits a plancha that pretty misses Swagger outside; he rolls Swagger
back into the ring and he hits the running butt splash (the Stinkface tribute
that they always do) on him in the corner but only gets a near fall because
Cesaro breaks it up. Jimmy then sends Cesaro over the top rope to the floor
which leaves Jimmy and Jey to hit a double super kick and then Jimmy hits a
plancha onto Cesaro outside while Jey hits the Superfly splash about a mile
across the ring for the win. A really fun match as always from these four. I
like what The Usos are capable of but they tend to work by numbers now,
particularly in their finishes.
Winners:
The Usos via pinfall (7:53)
This was a clean, wholesome and fun Thanksgiving edition
of WWE Superstars that would lighten any WWE fan’s mood during this holiday
season. The show closes out with the end of the tag match between Cena &
Big Show and Del Rio & Orton, focusing on the concussion angle.
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