WWE Survivor Series Dream Team

Imagine the scenario: someone tells you that you can choose your favourite 5 wrestlers from any era and they will let you make them into a Survivor Series tag-team. Exciting? Definitely. Fun? Absolutely! Difficult? Way more than you’d think.

So, there were a number of ways to approach this: do I pick my favourite stars regardless of era and stick them together? Should I pick 5 wrestlers - heels, faces, dead or alive - and pretend that I could conceive of them being a team on an imaginary Survivor Series ppv? Maybe I should go competitive and look at Survivors streaks – wins and losses, main-eventers or mid-carders – and build a team of winners? I even considered just making a team of unbeatable giants. Why did I give this so much thought?

In the end, I went with two main criteria: did I love them as a wrestler and what were their Survivor Series credentials. One may override the other but I gave up caring too much about self-imposed rules after a while and embraced the fantasy of it all.

Randy ‘Macho Man’ Savage

Randy was a childhood hero and was arguably excellent in role as both babyface and heel. His Survivor Series credentials might be amongst some of the strongest on my list but he’s also one of my favourite wrestlers from any company in any era.

Savage was at the very first Survivor Series in 1987 and went on to appear at six Survivor Series ppvs, main-eventing two of those six but, crucially, remaining undefeated at the November show. When Survivor Series was the Thanksgiving ppv, Savage embodied all the pomp and ceremony of the occasion but could back it all up in the ring, too. There are few who could match the work rate that Savage could produce during this period – perhaps only Flair and Steamboat could hold a candle to him in that respect.

In addition to Savage, I’m cheekily going include a six member of the team – Elizabeth. In the late 80s when they were together on and off screen that partnership was everything that wholesome, honest babyface wrestling should have been about. It seems only fitting that these two should be on the team together.

Bret Hart

Controversially, Hart and Michaels are on the same team, in this instance, but this is within my licence as a fantasy booker to do so. Not only is Hart a sublime technician, he’s also a winner and a huge draw.

Like Savage, Hart was also at the first ever Survivor Series in 87. He was working as The Hart Foudation with Jim Neidhart that year (they were eliminated by The Killer Bees) but he would then go on to be a part of all of the first 11 Survivor Series ppvs. Of those, he was a main-eventer by his sixth but he was used quite creatively before he was at the top of the card. The Hart Family feud with Lawler was in 1993 but when Lawler was accused of rape, he was pulled from the show and replaced by Michaels. Hart went on to defeat Steve Austin in ‘96 and was then, of course, involved with Michaels in what is the most famous wrestling angle in history in 1997.

Growing up, Hart was a hero. For a man who never smiled, he was surprisingly influential as a babyface but, for a long, long time, he was a winner. He had good genetics but had by no means a huge physique, and so was very different from the comic-book archetype that made up Vince’s dreams in the early 90s. He was an ok promo and got better but it was his in-ring work that would speak for itself. In a team of survivors, Bret epitomises the plucky, never-say-day, sympathetic babyface and for those reasons, he’s in.

Shawn Michaels

Much of what I have said about Bret could also apply to Shawn. But Shawn has a charisma that goes beyond his outstanding ring work. He is an implicit understanding of how wrestling angles should be handled and this is translated in his excellent microphone work but is also born out in his wonderful in-ring psychology. His being part of this team means that fans would see two favourites, who were enemies for so long, working together as a tag team. I imagine they would have a lot of fun working promos together and would have the ability to destroy some poor, less adept saps on the opposing heel team. I would also imagine that their in-ring work would be an utter joy to watch – the key with creating a credible heel team at Suvirvor Series is having a babyface team who can sell and, here, I have some of the best in the business.

Again, like Bret, Shawn’s Survivor Series credentials speak for themselves. His Survivor Series ppv debut was in 1988; he performed at four as a Rocker; had main-evented by his fifth (against Hart); fought Hart with his knights (Horrowitz, Valentine, Gaylord), due to Lawler having to miss the event, in ‘93; and has been a part of 16 Survivor Series ppvs, main-eventing 6 of them. All this coupled with his starring role in the Montreal Screwjob in 1997 and his resilience and endurance as a draw make him a perfect member for my babyface team.

Mr Perfect

Curt Hennig is one of the funniest men I have ever watched in wrestling. His timing and facials had the ability to make the 6 year old me laugh as much as they do now. His work with Heenan, McMahon, Flair, Monsoon and Mooney in the early 90s on colour commentary and as a bodyguard/manager show just how talented he was because, in the ring, he was such a joy to watch. Although a gifted athlete, Hennig showed that he wasn’t just a mindless beefcake. But, most of all, only a certain, very special character could make the moniker of ‘Mr Perfect’ work. (I like to envisage the meeting where they came up with that one: “hmmm, what should we call him? Curt Hennig sounds far too much like a jobber. I mean, after all, he’s a great athlete, he’s got tons of personality and charisma, I mean he’s perfect… wait, that’s it!”)

Hennig’s Survivor Series credentials are not as strong as others but it’s my love for him as a performer that totally overrides this. Making his Survivor Series debut in 1988, he teamed up with Andre the Giant and would go on to appear at 5 ppvs; he didn’t wrestle 91; replaced Warrior at ‘92 to team up against Flair with Savage; and was replaced by Savage in 93.

Hennig would make an excellent mouthpiece for any team but with all these strong talkers he’d be just as good at making appropriate facials while others cut promos. One of my favourite memories of Mr Perfect is something really tiny: when Hart was wrestling Flair in 92, Hart dislocated his finger and popped it back in, mid-match. On the outside, a shell-suited, towel-carrying Hennig cringes, out of character, grimaces and is seen to say “oh man!” to the fans on the hard cam side of the ring. I think Hart talks about it in his WWE DVD but it always stuck in my mind. You know that with Curt in your team, you’d be looked after, you’d be ribbed and you’d probably win. If you didn’t, he cut a tremendous promo telling you why they’d been screwed. Perfect. Pun intended.

CM Punk

CM Punk is an obvious choice if someone in 2013 is picking their favourite wrestlers but I make no apology for his inclusion. I haven’t just picked Punk for the many truths that exist around him in my mind - because I like him so much as an individual, or because of the fact that I am compelled to watch anything he does on television. I have picked him because I think that he would click beautifully with the team, particularly with Savage (a hero of Punk’s) and Hennig. Not only is Punk also an excellent worker now and a fantastic seller when he needs to be, he is also deferential to talent who paved the way for him to do what he is doing now.

What I also like about Punk in this context is that he is a professional. At least on screen. People may raise an eyebrow to that statement but he is. One of the reasons why I watch WWE today is that CM Punk always makes the angles he’s involved in seem relevant, no matter how zany or camp. Now, Survivor Series is not my favourite gimmick match by any means, in fact it’s way down the list, but I think Punk can always be relied upon to make this angle everything that it’s probably not: credible, significant and meaningful.

Despite Punk only clocking up seven years with the company to date, he still boasts some mean Survivor Series credentials: he first appeared at 2006 as part of DX team and was put over strong and adored by fans; he defeated Morrison and Miz at 2007; lost to Team Orton (on Team Batista) in 2008; lost on Team Orton (to Team Kofi) in 2009; but after missing the 2010 ppv, he defeated del Rio in 2011 and defeated Cena and Ryback at the 2012 show. Now as a main-eventer, Punk is one of the top three strongest performers in WWE and should be winning on ppvs more often than not.

Closing thoughts

I’m pleased to say that I resisted giving this collaboration an absurd name but I did feel it pertinent to draw attention to some of the ridiculous names that they used to give teams in the early years of Survivor Series: The Teamsters, The 4x4s, The Foreign Fanatics, The Rude Brood and Roddy’s Rowdies are just some examples of the wacky names given to cobbled-together teams of men for this ppv. And that, for me, is the main problem with this show. So often, it is cobbled together teams (see Triple H’s backstage promo on the 2007 show where he points out that none of his team actually get on) and the angles between the teams are rarely give much build. But it’s also the beauty of this show: it’s a concept that shouldn’t mean anything to fans and used to mean WWE would have to book themselves out of a corner just to fit the gimmick of the show but it also means champions can be beaten without losing the belt.

If you don’t agree with my picks, I completely understand. There were many who I considered who I vetoed on the basis of not feeling drawn to them strongly enough. The decision to put Shawn and Bret together might seem ridiculous given their synonymy with this ppv as enemies but this is fantasy booking and, as history will tell you, Survivor Series rarely makes sense.