WWE Superstars TV Report – 23rd May 2014

Noteworthy: Big Show appears on WWE Superstars for the first time in years. Cody Rhodes loses again but appears to be getting on fine again with his brother. Even a show like Superstars is way better when in front of a hot UK crowd.

Big Show beat Titus O’Neil with the choke slam in 4:15

Big Show comes out to start off the show to a huge babyface reaction. He makes Titus O’Neil look ‘normal’ sized. Show is rumoured to be getting movie work as part of the new WWE deal with Lionsgate that was announced this week. O’Neil has been on this show consistently for the last few months – remember when he faced Darren Young on ppv?

They lock up; a huge roar from Big Show sees him sling O’Neil to the floor. A huge clothesline follows and then the entire O2 Arena hushes and makes ‘shh’ noises as Big Show chops the bejesus out of Titus O’Neil, twice. He goes for a third but O’Neil ducks out of the way and runs the ropes hitting a shoulder barge that floors Show without any trouble.

Stomps and side suplex from O’Neil give him brief offense as does a fairly loose clothesline. Then they collide in a mess of miscommunication in the middle – literally, O’Neil just ran into Big Show. Things get worse when Titus hits him with an awful DDT where Show’s head doesn’t even come close to hitting the mat, for a near fall. In an attempt to get things back on a an even keel, O’Neil slaps on a sleeper, as the crowd come to life with “let’s go big show” chants.

Big Show seems to just get bored with pretending to fall asleep and all of a sudden stands up and flings O’Neil off him. He then no-sells the sleeper, hits a choke slam and pins him for the win. A nothing match but the London crowd were entertained.

The Raw rebound was a Cena and Wyatt Payback music video, Steph’s great promo and Shield and Evolution build.

Jack Swagger (w/ Zeb Colter) beat Cody Rhodes (w/ Goldust) with the Patriot Lock in 8:12.

Swagger comes out to “we the people!” chants. Like so many on the WWE roster, he gets a reaction from the crowd that would suggest that he’s a babyface. It’s a level of disconnect and disengagement that fans in the UK will see as ironic but also as part of their ‘right’ to chant what they like. Pavlovian or not, it always raises a smile when these hot crowds start to get behind the mid-card nobodies.

Cody and Goldust seem to be on the same page again and as he kicks things off with a flying forearm, a big cheer erupts from the crowd. He gets the early going with a face buster and a one count. He locks on an arm bar which is reversed until Rhodes uses a hip toss out of the corner and goes for two quick covers.

It’s interesting watching these two work. Here’s Jack Swagger, just turned 32, who turned up at the WWE with so much promise and potential and was given the world early on. He can’t talk, works too stiff and, after ruining his chances of a second title run, now looks out of shape and, to be frank, bloated. Cody, on the other hand, is lithe and athletic and came with so much promise too. He would seem to be a good bet, at 28, to go on to greater things. However, his size and his boyish good looks will probably limit his chances at ever really making it as a true heel in the 2010s.

This match takes a bit of a nose dive and in the middle gets really tedious. Swagger looks blown up and starts going back to rest holds more often. Cody breaks the boredom with 10 punches on top rope, followed by a running knee. They both go down for a count until they get up and collide. Goldust and Zeb have a confrontation outside while Cody drop kicks Swagger outside through the ropes. He climbs up and hits a top rope flying forearm to the outside as we crash to the break.

Swagger’s in control after the break and the crowd are losing interest. We go to another rest hold until the match is resuscitated by a Disaster Kick from Cody. He then hits a springboard missile drop kick for a near fall. Swagger goes for the Patriot Lock but is countered. Rhodes hits his Moonsault for a near fall and then stomps his foot a la Shawn Michaels, as if ‘tuning up the band’ before his Disaster Kick. Swagger ducks and slaps on the Patriot Lock again and this time Rhodes taps.

As we end the show, there’s no dissension between Goldust and Cody.

Raw Rebound showed Cena v Luke Harper from Monday.

WWE Superstars TV Report – 16th May 2014

Noteworthy: After seeing the tag champs and the Divas champ on this show last week, Superstars becomes just another show again. Sin Cara is now in cahoots with Los Matadores and El Torito.

Kofi Kingston beat Titus O’Neil with the Trouble in Paradise in 4:47

It seems to be that these two are ever destined for lower mid card mediocrity. This is the third meeting in nearly as many weeks between these two on Superstars. The matches are OK but there’s no real heat here. You could probably predict the layout for this kind of match.

Titus gets the early going, and floors Kofi with a big boot to the mat and then picks him up onto his shoulder and falls to the mat by way of a back breaker. When Kofi gets up he’s treated to a club/clothesline to the back of the head. O’Neil gets a couple of near falls and the crowd start up the Kofi chants.

I’ve said before that I’m still not sure that O’Neil is completely sure of how to pace out a match yet and here is another example. He wanders around too often trying to get heat, garnering little. Kofi gets to his feet and dodges O’Neil’s charge and this allows him to match his comeback.

Kofi hits a sweet drop kick, transitions into a school boy but only gets a near fall. Then off the ropes he hits a cross body for another near fall. A springboard clothesline is followed by the Boom Drop. As usual, the first attempt at Trouble in Paradise doesn’t work. Here he’s caught by Titus who smashes him down onto his thigh for a backbreaker. Kofi kicks out, crawls to the corner, blocks O’Neil’s charge with his knees and then hits Trouble in Paradise for the win. As you’d expect from these two.

The Raw rebound was primarily about Bryan’s announcement of neck surgery and to a lesser extent about Cena and Bray continuing their feud.

Bo Dallas is coming to Raw on Monday.

Legend’s House advert.

Sin Cara (w/ Los Matadores & El Torito) beat Drew McIntyre (w/ Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal & Hornswoggle) in  7:58 with the senton.

This match was supposed to be another way of furthering the feud between El Torito and Hornswoggle. Early Sin Cara pace and lucha style are a little incongruous for Drew but he’s a good foil for Sin Cara here.

McIntyre goes for German but it is countered by Sin Cara who turns it into a crossbody and covers him to get an early near fall. Drew, angry, gets up and hits him with a back breaker for a near fall of his own. Then he rains down on Sin Cara with punches and forearms to the head. Sin Cara the blocks a charge to corner and from the second rope plants Drew in a swinging DDT.

Sin Cara then goes through a lovely set – a cross body, a tilt-a-whirl headscissors, and a back elbow – for a two count. As he gets up, he is distracted and Drew as able to gain some time and smashes him with a drop kick and both men go down.

The focus now shifts to the ‘comedy’ outside between Torito and Hornswoggle. They chase each other and go under the ring. As El Torito is going under, Heath Slater grabs his leg but is pulled under. They all do the same and one-by-one get sucked under. Maybe it’s Magneto? Then one-by-one they’re all spat out the other side. El Torito and Hornswoggle are nowhere to be seen.  Finally a triumphant Hornswoggle appears only to realise that he hasn’t got his pants on. Hornswoggle runs off in his boxers; El Torito holds the trousers aloft. There’s a slapstick fall up the ramp for good measure. This all took way too long.

Just as luck would have it, as the skit ends, the action in ring is ready to continue! Sin Cara gets up and kicks Drew to the head, hits the senton for the win. Why 3MB didn’t interfere is beyond me. A nothing match; pure house show comedy for the fans waiting for Raw to start.

They aired adverts for the WrestleMania XXX DVD/Blu-Ray and Total Divas on E!

Raw Rebound showed more of The Shield & Evolution feud from Monday.

WWE Superstars TV Report – 9th May 2014

Noteworthy: The tag team champions and the Divas champion were both in action; they’ve revamped the opening titles to include more of the new additions to the active roster like Rusev and Adam Rose; The Usos look fairly meagre against 3.5MB; Paige is tremendous.

The Usos beat 3.5MB (Jinder Mahal & Drew McIntyre w/ Hornswoggle & Heath Slater) in 8:47 when Jimmy Uso hit the Samoan Splash on McIntyre.

Well, they took their sweet time on this one and really made The Usos look like pretty feeble champions given how long they took to see off these jokers.

Drew and Jimmy kick things off after Drew got hold of the Usos merch t-shirts and blew his nose on it. What a dastardly heel. Drew and Jinder are both looking pretty cut these days, hell even Hornswoggle is trying his best to look in better shape - although Jinder is wearing taping and bandage on his left shoulder and we’re not told why.

Quick tags see The Usos double team Jinder as they hit stereo elbow drops, kip up and threaten to suicide dive over the ropes on to the remainder of 3.5MB but stop at the ropes. Hornswoggle is left realising that this buddies essentially ran off to let him deal with the dive, had it happened. We crash to the break.

McIntyre is in control of Jimmy out of the commercials. Drew and Jinder use a series of quick tags to work over Jimmy and it becomes a stomp, kick and chin lock-athon. Heath was a great cheerleader before, now they have two. I really don’t know why but I guess it gives Hornswoggle something to do other than sitting backstage picking up his pay cheque.

They tease the hot tag plenty of times and just isolate Jimmy in the corner with plenty of near falls. Out of nowhere Jimmy finally gets some breathing room with a stiff sounding heel kick. He crawls across and gives Jey the hot tag. Jey runs wild, Mahal comes in to break up a pin but gets thrown out. Hornswoggle pisses off Jimmy enough who goes to superkick him but Hornswoggle runs head-first into Slater's crotch. All comedy/farce/chaos. In the ring, McIntyre eats a superkick and Jimmy finishes him with the Samoan Splash for the win.

The Raw rebound becomes a Raw and Main Event rebound this week. We’re shown Bray Wyatt’s promo from Raw and Cena’s response on Main Event. Then we get Sheamus’ triumph in the Battle Royale for the US Championship.

They show a Paige promo video about her rise to the top.

Legend’s House video – what a dull show that’s turned out to be!

Paige beat Alicia Fox with the Scorpion Crosslock in a non title match in 3:43.

Paige is really getting over it would seem. The Mid-Atlantic accent is annoying to this Englishman but she’s a good promo already and she’s 21. It’s nuts.

Paige gets the early heat on Fox. She stomps on her at the ropes and gets a series of near falls. This is how you put over a champion; The Usos were made to look like plucky flukes earlier. Fox tries to fight into the ring from the apron, but takes knee lifts to the face for her efforts. Paige is tough and kind of has a heelish offense in her move set at times. Fox takes such an onslaught that she tries to bail up the ramp. It's all a devious trap of course and Paige gets whipped into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Fox then rolls Paige back into the ring and gives her sample of her own brand of heel offense.

Fox uses a modified surfboard on Paige and then puts her in a chin lock. Chants and rhythmic clapping from the crowd get her back up, briefly, but Fox plants her to the mat with a scoop slam. She goes for another but Paige uses a schoolgirl for a near fall. Drop kick and a trio of clotheslines sees Fox go to the ropes; Paige pulls her off and puts her in the Scorpion Crosslock for the win.

The aired an advert for WrestleMania XXX on DVD/Blu-Ray

Raw Rebound showed the end of The Shield v The Wyatts from Monday with Evolution’s post match beat down.

WWE Superstars TV Report – 2nd May 2014

Damien Sandow v Sin Cara

So, Sin Cara still exists in WWE, has new ring gear which is just garish and essentially horrid but doesn’t seem to be wrestling under blue and yellow lighting anymore. Great! Damien Sandow seemed to gain little from the exposure on Raw with Hugh Jackman and finds himself here on Superstars on the Network.

Quick mat wrestling and pin attempts start the match until Sandow slows things down with arm bars and tries to stop Sin Cara getting into his speedy offense. The crowd is dead here. Sin Cara also slows down and starts to apply holds; he’s looking a little heavy and after a drop kick and a few runs between the ropes looks a little blown up.

Sandow misses a charge to the corner, gets caught by an elbow and ducks a moonsault. Sin Cara lands on his feet, rolls backwards and then launches Sandow over the top rope and hits a tope. We crash to the break.

After the commercial Sin Cara is still in control, goes for a cover but only gets two. More arm holds from Sin Cara (weird move set; the old Sin Cara wouldn’t have done this?) until, Sandow ducks a flying cross body, rolls him up for a cover but Sin Cara kicks out at two. Sandow starts to stomp and beat Sin Cara down and he rolls under the ropes to the outside. Back in the ring, more stomps, kicks and then Sandow applies a bear hug. Again, odd. Sin Cara escapes and goes for a cover and gets a near fall.

Side Russian leg sweep, Cubito Aequet and another near fall leads to more heelish beatdown from Sandow. This match is DULL. Sandow applies an abdominal stretch. Sin Cara hits a flying back elbow and they both go down for a count of five. Cross body from Sin Cara, tilt-a-whirl headscissors and then out of nowhere Sin Cara hits Sandow with a POWERBOMB. I’m not kidding.

The finish sees Sin Cara go for a senton but Sandow blocks it by putting his knees up. Sandow hits the You’re Welcome for the win. Really nothing match that went way too long.

Winner: Damien Sandow in 8:17

The Raw rebound recaps the opening of Raw with Cena, Wyatt, the cage and the choir – he’s got the whole world in his hands, you know.

Bo Dallas is still coming.

They then replayed the whole of the Jackman, Ziggler and Sandow segment.

Tamina v Natalya

Tamina, still in AJ Lee t-shirt, started out with some really lovely back-and-forth mat wrestling with Natalya. I’ve said this many, many times on these reports but Natalya is such a safe pair of hands in the ring that she can have a great match with most people. She really gets the best out of these weaker Divas and made Tamina, here, look vastly better than she probably is – although she is improving.

Natalya tries for the Black Widow, then slides down for a pin. Tamina goes for Rear View but Natalya rolls under and out of the way, so Snuka counters a clothesline by hitting a Samoan Drop.

Natalya hits a double underhook suplex and gets a near fall which transitions into a backslide. Tamina goes for a torture rack but Natalya slips out and looks for the Sharpshooter. Tamina gets to the ropes and Natalya yanks her away so that he her head bounces off the mat like a coconut. She uses a bridge cover but only gets two. Then out of nowhere, Tamina pushes Natalya back and hits her with a super kick and covers her for the win.

Great little four minute bout. This was so much better than the men’s match that kicked off the show, it isn’t even funny. Crowd weren’t into it either, though.

Winner: Tamina Snuka in 4:14

They recapped SmackDown to finish the show! I don’t think I’ve ever seen them do this on Superstars; in fact, it’s like it doesn’t exist normally. They showed The Shield destroying everyone to build up the Evolution match at Extreme Rules.